The Spanish devotionals let our whole family pray for our grandson. ✦ I finally feel like I have my wife back. ✦ I pray every morning for my grandson’s strength and healing. ✦ I finally learned how to love my son without enabling him. ✦ Hearing my brother read the daily devotional aloud brings us closer. ✦ I finally stopped blaming myself for Dad’s drinking. ✦ The prayer wall keeps our recovery group praying between meetings. ✦ Our recovery nights finally feel like ministry, not just meetings. ✦ The Spanish devotionals let my husband’s whole family pray with us. ✦ My brother stays focused when each new week unlocks automatically. ✦ I’ve got my best friend back, one honest day at a time. ✦ Watching him trust God again has strengthened my own recovery. ✦ I finally feel like I have my husband back. ✦ I’ve prayed for my grandson every morning, and I finally see hope. ✦ I pray every morning for my grandson to keep choosing recovery. ✦ As his brother, I trust my companion chats are encrypted and private. ✦ My wife’s 30-day streak badge proves she’s showing up every day. ✦ I finally stopped blaming myself for my dad’s drinking. ✦ I’m finally rebuilding trust with my kids, one day at a time. ✦ At 2am, the AI companion talked my brother through a craving. ✦ Seeing my husband’s name on the prayer wall carried me. ✦ After Dad’s addiction, hearing him read the daily devotional aloud means everything. ✦ Sharing his 90-day milestone card gave our family something to celebrate. ✦ Spanish devotionals let his grandparents join us in praying for my son. ✦ Our recovery ministry finally has structure without losing the heart. ✦ Hearing the daily devotional aloud anchors me before our recovery group. ✦ The Spanish devotionals let our whole family pray with my husband. ✦ I finally feel like I’m getting my wife back. ✦ The prayer wall shows me where my sponsees need support. ✦ With Dad still drinking, each course week unlocking automatically kept me grounded. ✦ I finally stopped hiding, and God met me there. ✦ I finally know how to love my son without enabling him. ✦ Watching him trust God and himself again keeps me grateful. ✦ I’m finally seeing my wife laugh again, and I’m so grateful. ✦ The Spanish devotionals let my sponsee’s whole family join in. ✦ Seeing strangers pray for my husband on the prayer wall carried me. ✦ I finally feel like we’re facing this together. ✦ I finally feel like I have my husband back. ✦ Our recovery nights are where I see grace become real. ✦ Our recovery ministry finally has something families actually keep using. ✦ Knowing my chats are encrypted helps me finally talk about Dad. ✦ God met me in my mess, and I’m finally healing. ✦ Our recovery nights have become the most honest hour at church. ✦ I love when my brother reads me the daily devotional each morning. ✦ Hearing my husband read the daily devotional aloud feels like progress. ✦ Hearing my son read the daily devotional aloud gives me hope. ✦ I finally stopped hiding and asked God for help. ✦ Seeing strangers pray for my wife on the prayer wall carried me. ✦ The prayer wall carries my prayers for my grandson when I’m weary. ✦ I finally trust his promises again, one sober day at a time. ✦ I finally feel like I have my husband back. ✦ My brother’s 90-day milestone card made this sister cry. ✦ Knowing the AI was there at 2am helped us both breathe. ✦ Posting my dad’s name on the prayer wall made me feel less alone. ✦ Sharing your 90-day card with the family made everyone so proud. ✦ I finally have my brother back, one honest day at a time. ✦ I finally feel like we’re a team again. ✦ The Spanish devotionals let my whole family pray through Dad’s recovery. ✦ I finally got my brother back, one honest day at a time. ✦ I stopped blaming myself and started praying with hope.   ✦   The Spanish devotionals let our whole family pray for our grandson. ✦ I finally feel like I have my wife back. ✦ I pray every morning for my grandson’s strength and healing. ✦ I finally learned how to love my son without enabling him. ✦ Hearing my brother read the daily devotional aloud brings us closer. ✦ I finally stopped blaming myself for Dad’s drinking. ✦ The prayer wall keeps our recovery group praying between meetings. ✦ Our recovery nights finally feel like ministry, not just meetings. ✦ The Spanish devotionals let my husband’s whole family pray with us. ✦ My brother stays focused when each new week unlocks automatically. ✦ I’ve got my best friend back, one honest day at a time. ✦ Watching him trust God again has strengthened my own recovery. ✦ I finally feel like I have my husband back. ✦ I’ve prayed for my grandson every morning, and I finally see hope. ✦ I pray every morning for my grandson to keep choosing recovery. ✦ As his brother, I trust my companion chats are encrypted and private. ✦ My wife’s 30-day streak badge proves she’s showing up every day. ✦ I finally stopped blaming myself for my dad’s drinking. ✦ I’m finally rebuilding trust with my kids, one day at a time. ✦ At 2am, the AI companion talked my brother through a craving. ✦ Seeing my husband’s name on the prayer wall carried me. ✦ After Dad’s addiction, hearing him read the daily devotional aloud means everything. ✦ Sharing his 90-day milestone card gave our family something to celebrate. ✦ Spanish devotionals let his grandparents join us in praying for my son. ✦ Our recovery ministry finally has structure without losing the heart. ✦ Hearing the daily devotional aloud anchors me before our recovery group. ✦ The Spanish devotionals let our whole family pray with my husband. ✦ I finally feel like I’m getting my wife back. ✦ The prayer wall shows me where my sponsees need support. ✦ With Dad still drinking, each course week unlocking automatically kept me grounded. ✦ I finally stopped hiding, and God met me there. ✦ I finally know how to love my son without enabling him. ✦ Watching him trust God and himself again keeps me grateful. ✦ I’m finally seeing my wife laugh again, and I’m so grateful. ✦ The Spanish devotionals let my sponsee’s whole family join in. ✦ Seeing strangers pray for my husband on the prayer wall carried me. ✦ I finally feel like we’re facing this together. ✦ I finally feel like I have my husband back. ✦ Our recovery nights are where I see grace become real. ✦ Our recovery ministry finally has something families actually keep using. ✦ Knowing my chats are encrypted helps me finally talk about Dad. ✦ God met me in my mess, and I’m finally healing. ✦ Our recovery nights have become the most honest hour at church. ✦ I love when my brother reads me the daily devotional each morning. ✦ Hearing my husband read the daily devotional aloud feels like progress. ✦ Hearing my son read the daily devotional aloud gives me hope. ✦ I finally stopped hiding and asked God for help. ✦ Seeing strangers pray for my wife on the prayer wall carried me. ✦ The prayer wall carries my prayers for my grandson when I’m weary. ✦ I finally trust his promises again, one sober day at a time. ✦ I finally feel like I have my husband back. ✦ My brother’s 90-day milestone card made this sister cry. ✦ Knowing the AI was there at 2am helped us both breathe. ✦ Posting my dad’s name on the prayer wall made me feel less alone. ✦ Sharing your 90-day card with the family made everyone so proud. ✦ I finally have my brother back, one honest day at a time. ✦ I finally feel like we’re a team again. ✦ The Spanish devotionals let my whole family pray through Dad’s recovery. ✦ I finally got my brother back, one honest day at a time. ✦ I stopped blaming myself and started praying with hope.   ✦   

For husbands

My wife relapsed again. What do I do?

If someone is in danger right now
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Know someone in this exact hour? Send them this page

Most of what's written about addiction in marriage is written for wives. You're a husband, and you may have felt for a long time that you're supposed to just fix this — or quietly hold it together while nobody asks how you are.

Nobody is asking. So we will: how are you? Not fine. Not coping. Actually.

Her relapse is not a verdict on you as a husband or a man. You cannot love her sober. You can love her, and you can be honest, and you can keep yourself and your children safe. That is the whole job tonight.

Three things to do in the next hour

  1. 1
    Safety first
    If she is at risk from what she has taken, or there are children who need protecting, act on that first. Call for help if you need to.
  2. 2
    Say less
    Don't try to reason with her tonight. Don't threaten. Don't plead. Tomorrow, sober, is when words count.
  3. 3
    Talk to one man
    A brother, a friend, a pastor. One message. Men in your position go quiet, and quiet is where this gets worse.

A prayer for right now

God, I don't know how to do this.

I've tried being strong. I've tried being patient. I've tried being angry. None of it brought her back.

I'm handing her to you tonight because I can't carry her another step. Take her. Keep her alive.

And give me something to stand on, because the ground I had is gone.

Amen.

"The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit." — Psalm 34:18

Send this prayer to someone who needs it tonight

Still Standing was written for husbands too

Our course for spouses is deliberately written for men as well as women — if your wife is the one struggling, every page is for you. Your first two weeks are free, with a companion who will talk with you at 2 AM if that's when you need it.

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Other hard hours

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